The Mother’s Dilemma: Should You Take Time for Yourself?
Mothers typically think they are supposed to put the needs of their family before their own. Tending to other people first is a culturally accepted norm for women in our society. Anything short of this can be perceived as selfish, even sinful.
In actuality, you will care for your loved ones better by taking time to refill your own well. If you are constantly on call, with no time for yourself, you will eventually run out of energy. Giving yourself a brief time to tune in and recharge will help ensure you are able to respond to the very real needs of your children as well as the rest of your family.
If taking care of yourself seems foreign, think about this for a moment. You are a primary role model for your children’s lives. They will copy your actions more often than follow your advice. Many a mom has shed tears after becoming aware of the lack of self care they modeled during their children’s formative years. You love your children and want to do right by them. Therefore, you need to show them how to take care of themselves by taking care of you! This will increase their capacity to be healthy, well balanced adults.
Yes, meditation is proven to be a highly effective tool for reducing stress and increasing health, but there are thousands of other ways to take ten minutes for you. The important thing is to make a commitment to yourself and follow through with it daily. You could go for a walk, listen to some favorite music, take a bath, sit in the car (as long as you’re not driving!), look at a beautiful painting or view, or savor a cup of coffee or tea all by yourself.
If you are a stay-at-home mom who is normally with your child (or children) 24 hours a day, I encourage you to find a creative way to take an hour or two away at least once a week while your baby is being properly cared for by another adult. This will allow you some mental and physical decompression time. It’s amazing how much more you can appreciate the miracle of life that you helped create when you have a small amount of space that other people take for granted. Just being away for a short time can open you up to wholeheartedly enjoying your family even if you thought you were too tired to do so.
You may find unexpected benefits from following through with this self care technique. Certainly you will realize temporary benefits from having a few daily moments to breathe, but will be creating long term benefits as well. When your inner self begins to trust that you are going to continue taking time and space for yourself, your mood and even body image will improve. You are, in effect, saying that it is all right for you to be in the world! This will translate into healthier self-talk, wiser choices, and a more grace-filled, response-able presence as a partner, wife and mother.