Most of my anger management clients are men and one of the prevailing issues for them is the fear of alienating children and their significant other.  Breaking and smashing of inanimate objects but then seeing fear in your child’s eyes and in your wife’s body language produces an unimaginable guilt feeling but yet you find this pattern repeating itself, knowing the devastation you are causing yourself and your family. 

There is a way to clear your mind, halt the anger inside you and learning new behavioural patterns to assert yourself.  Anger is the result of some other feeling - you feel threatened in some way.  If your relationship is on the rocks, do you think a show of power will keep it safe? 

I remember one of my clients was on the brink of suicide because he was so tired emotionally and physically of not being able to express himself at work and he took his frustration out on his wife and kids.  He saw the body language of fear in his family.  He knew his wife watched him to check what mood he was in and more often than not, she had the children in bed before he came home.  Within the first week of seeing me, his sleep had settled, his IBS had calmed down and I have given him tools so that on his drive home, it was his time to unwind and reframed going home as enjoyment.  One issue he had was the volume of his children (when they were still up) when he got home and it was reframing that to the reality that it was – children’s excitement at seeing their daddy – not irritating noise!  Within 4 weeks, he had become more assertive at work rather than let issues fester, he dealt with them as they arose. 

This man had gone from being suicidal to a calmer, loving man in the space of 4 weeks with immediate changes from session 1.  You don’t have to suffer or feel weak for seeking help.  My job is to help you access your inner resources, discover how to work your own mind and body to your benefit so that you can enjoy new ways of being.  But you must need to want to change.  Don’t come to me if you think your partner will accept you because you said you were seeing someone for help – that doesn’t work.  You have to decide to you want to embrace change for yourself first and foremost and this will ripple to those around you. 

For evening appointments in Upper Baggot Street, call me on 086 1038892 or email zita@zitastanley.com.